


Sometimes Broken Cannot Be Fixed

by WriterPrincess95 (N3DDYT3DDY)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6182608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N3DDYT3DDY/pseuds/WriterPrincess95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa gets shot. Clarke is left Broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes Broken Cannot Be Fixed

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all.  
> This is my first Fanfiction on this site, but I simply couldn't not write something after the devastation of this weeks episode.
> 
> This is a one shot for now, but depending on the reception I get, I may turn this into a multi. This scene had a lot of elements and emotions, so hopefully I did them justice. 
> 
> Comments are always welcome, they are my food :)

The sound of the gun shot reverberates through the room as you breathe a quick sigh of relief that it didn’t hit you. That relief quickly turns to panic as you notice Lexa standing in the door way with shock etched over her usually calm features. A little stunned gasp escapes her lips as she tentatively moves her fingertips over her midsection, her fingers coming back black.

 

_No._

 

Then she is falling, her form crumpling into Titus as he rushes forward to catch her. She is falling and you’re calling her name.

 

_Please. Please. Please._

 

You yell at Titus to put her on the bed as your medical training kicks in. You are on the bed beside her in moments, your hands pressing hard into her wound, coating your fingers in blackness. You are crying, you can feel the wetness staining your cheeks, but you are trying to concentrate on your task – on saving her life.

“Just lay still, I’m going to fix this.”

You are fumbling with the bandages, hands shaking as you press them into her stomach and you feel her hand atop yours.

“Don’t be afraid.” She whispers.

As you look up and blue meets green, you realise she isn’t talking to herself. She is talking to you and it’s so heartbreakingly Lexa, it sends renewed tears cascading down onto intertwined hands. Lexa, who continuously sacrificed everything for her people, regardless of her own feelings, is still trying to put you back together. Even as her blood bubbles up through your hands, she still wants to fix you.

“You are going to be fine, just stay still.” You tell her.

 “Stay with me, I will fix you, just stay with me” You plead and she nods her head slightly, as if she is humouring you.

She knows you can’t fix this, you know you can’t fix this, yet you push harder on her wound. Trying to persuade the panic you feel rising up inside you, to stop, to let you do something. Anything.

 

_Please please please_

 

Titus is talking to her in hushed tones, cradling her face in his calloused hands and it takes all of your strength not to rip him away from her. The person that is responsible for this, for her lifeblood leaking all over the bed collecting in an ever growing pool. Responsible for taking her from you.

 

_Please please please_

 

You are praying now, pleading to who, you don’t know. You have never had faith, especially on the ground after everything that has happened. Yet here you find yourself begging for some higher power, anyone, to free you from this cruel twist of fate. That you will wake up from this nightmare and find yourself in her bed, where you were but hours ago, fingers whispering silent confessions. You had fought your feelings for her for so long, wanting nothing more than to just feel the depth of hatred you wished you could thrust upon her for the mountain. For the deaths that you now carry, but now you only wish you had forgiven her sooner. That you could have more of her.

 

_Please please please._

 

Titus has moved to the foot of the bed and Lexa is pushing at your hand, trying to take it off her wound.

 

“Don’t you dare give up!” You cry as you continue to apply pressure. “I’m not letting you die.”

“There is nothing you can do now” She replies calmly, just as she has her entire life, the commander until the end.

“The next commander will protect..” You cut her off with a violent shake of your head, as tears well up in your eyes.

“I don’t want the next commander, I want you.”

 

You want her green eyes filled with pride as you hold your own in a clan meeting.

You want her disappointment when you start to revert back to an old way of thinking.

You want her hair loose, tumbling over a shoulder as you talk casually in a rare moment of peace.

You want her anger when you misread her intentions.

You want her on your paper, as you immortalise every inch of her skin and her crinkled brow when she discovers you draw her.

Most of all you want her time. Time to find out what is between them, time to just be when they bring a lasting peace to a world which has never known such a concept. You want her time and you know you are quickly running out of it. So you plead.

 

_Please. Please. Please._

 

“Clarke?” Her hand reaches out and clasps one of yours pinning it to the bed.

“I’m here.”

“My fight is over.”  She whispers, blood dripping out of her mouth, coating her lips and teeth in black.

“No. No, I won’t accept that.”  She smiles at that. The small almost imperceptible smile, the one that has always been just for you. She likes you like this, stubborn, it is what drew her to you in the first place. You spoke to her like a person, not a commander. You demanded more from her and her from you. She wouldn’t expect any less than for you to fight this, even if it was futile, even if you can’t fix this by sheer force of will. Not this time.

 

_Please. Please. Please._

 

“You were right Clarke life is about more than just surviving.” She stutters as a stray tear runs down the side of her face.

Your bloody hand rests in her damp hair as she is looking at you with her heart in her eyes. Trying to convey everything left unsaid. You want nothing more than to hear those words, want nothing more than to say them. Your breath catches in your throat as you choke back a sob as you try to form words, but you can’t. You’re just trying to memorise the details of her face, every feature, every curve because you aren’t ready. Not ready to say goodbye, not ready to be this kind of broken, to be left with only Wanheda, you’re not ready to die too. So you do the only thing you can. You take a steadying breathe and begin to speak.

 

“In peace may you leave the shore.”

 

_Please don’t leave me._

 

“In love may you find the light.”

 

_I’m not ready._

 

“Safe passage on your travels”

 

_I don’t know how to do this by myself._

 

“Until our final journey on the ground”

 

_I don’t want to have to._

 

“May we meet again.”

 

_I love you._

 

You press your lips to hers, tasting blood and tears, trying to breathe her in, keep her with you. It’s you who leaves with her, as you feel the last of her life exhale against your lips and the flood gates open. You are left shaking and sobbing against her now still form as Titus tries to support you against his side. All you want to do is bleed out right alongside her and maybe you are, your heart is stuttering in your chest and your lungs are gasping for air. Murphy is talking to you, but you cannot hear him over the buzzing in your ears as you take in the blood soaked furs and the hole in your chest where she used to be.

You are left with an emptiness as the truth sets in.

You are never going to see her smile again.

 Never again see her raise a curved brow in question.

Never again trace her tattoos with your fingers.

Never again feel her fingers leave trails of heat across your skin.

 

Lexa may be the one that is dead, but you are the one who is _broken_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So there it is. Hopefully, you guys liked it. 
> 
> As I said above I am considering making this a multi chapter, or turning it into a multichapter where lexa doesn't die.  
> Let me know your thoughts :) 
> 
> Until next time.


End file.
